Earlier today I made a tweet lamenting the lost art of storytelling. I'm not sure if anyone knew what I was talking about and of course I have way more to say on the subject than the 140 character limit of Twitter allows. For people who lack the time, inclination, or attention span to read my blog, my tweet summed up the point of this particular post.
It is a topic I have been thinking about quite a bit lately. It started with a just an inkling of an idea while I watched old black and white episodes of The Andy Griffith show a few weeks ago. (Yes, I know, my television preferences are a bit unconventional for this decade or any of the three preceding it. Even though it aired before I was born, I've always enjoyed it.) In one episode, Andy took Opie and his friends on a camp out. Around the campfire that evening, he told the boys a ghost story and unless they were all amazing actors at such a young age, they seemed genuinely mesmerized by the tale. There were no cutaways to illustrate the story like you would see in a show today; it was just an example of old fashioned story telling.
In another episode, Aunt Bea, Andy, and Opie were sitting on the porch after dinner. Opie was playing with his building blocks, Aunt Bea's hands were busy with needlework, while Andy strummed the guitar. All three would occasionally stop what they were doing to talk to one another. When was the last time you just sat and talked to someone without glancing at phones, TV, or other technology? Do you remember being a kid and going over to a relative's house and having to sit there quietly while the grown-ups talked until they thankfully had a heart and sent you off to play? They literally sat around for hours just talking, talking, talking. I can't even imagine that today.
My daughter and I recently had a conversation about texting versus talking on the phone. I was asking her how you get to know someone without actually speaking to them. She said texting was better and easier than talking. My point was that you can't adequately have a conversation in a text. It does not convey tone. In text, you forgo telling details because it takes effort and time to type on a touch screen. You limit yourself to the bare bones. You also are not able to see the recipient's reaction and facial expressions, so you can't react in the way you would if you were communicating face to face. While I am speaking to someone, my eyes are always on them and I am constantly thinking of how to choose my words based on the non-verbal feedback I am receiving. You can't do that in text.
I miss having actual conversations with people where no one is distracted by the diversions at their fingertips. We have so much information available to us at the mere swipe of our fingertips. We can scan news stories for just the pertinent bits or parts that are interesting to us. We can watch video clips and fast forward past the duller scenes. Unfortunately it seems like people want to do that now in conversations as well, or perhaps they have forgotten that it is rude and bad manners to divert your attention and focus away mid-conversation.
It has gotten to the point that with some people, I try to limit what I need to say to 30 seconds or less. My max conversation might be three minutes. If the person seems interested, I will speak longer and add additional comments and details, but I am on the lookout for the tell tale signs that they are no longer engaged. There just is no point and it is quite honestly a little hurtful trying to talk to someone who can't be courteous enough to at least give you their full attention for more than a few moments.
I suppose I sound horribly old fashioned and the mention of The Andy Griffith Show probably drives that home most of all, but I miss talking to people. I miss hearing stories. My dad always had funny stories to tell about his life and experiences. No one seems to tell their life stories anymore. I miss that. I have to say that the longest conversations I have had with anyone lately, have been with my son, and I do not think it is any coincidence that he does not yet have a phone.
It is a topic I have been thinking about quite a bit lately. It started with a just an inkling of an idea while I watched old black and white episodes of The Andy Griffith show a few weeks ago. (Yes, I know, my television preferences are a bit unconventional for this decade or any of the three preceding it. Even though it aired before I was born, I've always enjoyed it.) In one episode, Andy took Opie and his friends on a camp out. Around the campfire that evening, he told the boys a ghost story and unless they were all amazing actors at such a young age, they seemed genuinely mesmerized by the tale. There were no cutaways to illustrate the story like you would see in a show today; it was just an example of old fashioned story telling.
In another episode, Aunt Bea, Andy, and Opie were sitting on the porch after dinner. Opie was playing with his building blocks, Aunt Bea's hands were busy with needlework, while Andy strummed the guitar. All three would occasionally stop what they were doing to talk to one another. When was the last time you just sat and talked to someone without glancing at phones, TV, or other technology? Do you remember being a kid and going over to a relative's house and having to sit there quietly while the grown-ups talked until they thankfully had a heart and sent you off to play? They literally sat around for hours just talking, talking, talking. I can't even imagine that today.
My daughter and I recently had a conversation about texting versus talking on the phone. I was asking her how you get to know someone without actually speaking to them. She said texting was better and easier than talking. My point was that you can't adequately have a conversation in a text. It does not convey tone. In text, you forgo telling details because it takes effort and time to type on a touch screen. You limit yourself to the bare bones. You also are not able to see the recipient's reaction and facial expressions, so you can't react in the way you would if you were communicating face to face. While I am speaking to someone, my eyes are always on them and I am constantly thinking of how to choose my words based on the non-verbal feedback I am receiving. You can't do that in text.
I miss having actual conversations with people where no one is distracted by the diversions at their fingertips. We have so much information available to us at the mere swipe of our fingertips. We can scan news stories for just the pertinent bits or parts that are interesting to us. We can watch video clips and fast forward past the duller scenes. Unfortunately it seems like people want to do that now in conversations as well, or perhaps they have forgotten that it is rude and bad manners to divert your attention and focus away mid-conversation.
It has gotten to the point that with some people, I try to limit what I need to say to 30 seconds or less. My max conversation might be three minutes. If the person seems interested, I will speak longer and add additional comments and details, but I am on the lookout for the tell tale signs that they are no longer engaged. There just is no point and it is quite honestly a little hurtful trying to talk to someone who can't be courteous enough to at least give you their full attention for more than a few moments.
I suppose I sound horribly old fashioned and the mention of The Andy Griffith Show probably drives that home most of all, but I miss talking to people. I miss hearing stories. My dad always had funny stories to tell about his life and experiences. No one seems to tell their life stories anymore. I miss that. I have to say that the longest conversations I have had with anyone lately, have been with my son, and I do not think it is any coincidence that he does not yet have a phone.
