It starts shortly after my kids leave school in the afternoon. After the pleasantries of, "How was your day?" are out of the way, it begins. First with the boy, whose school day ends shortly before my paid work day ends. It continues with the girl a mere 30 minutes later. The next words out of their mouths after the small talk is out of the way are always about what I am going to make to put in those same mouths in a few short hours.
"What's for dinner, Mom?"
Soon the man will send a text, if it is one of the nights he doesn't have pool, and ask what I am planning for dinner.
I don't know. I rarely know. I stopped making weekly menus years ago about the time it stopped being fun and started being drudgery. I like to cook. It used to bring me joy to be able to create something for my family that not only pleased them, but nourished them as well. Over time, that satisfying sense of pride has diminished until it is just another chore like laundry.
I have one diner that is extremely picky and really only wants to eat things found on any children's menu, like nuggets, grilled cheese, pizza, pasta with butter, macaroni and cheese, hot dogs, or hamburgers. I have another eater that doesn't like cheese, and is not a big meat eater. The other mouth to feed doesn't eat sugars of any kind, flour, grains, or carbohydrates.
I often end up making at least two separate meals a night, and sometimes three. I eat either whatever someone else is having, or a combination of the meals. I resort to making scrambled eggs for dinner at least two to three times a month as it is the one thing they all will eat although I am not a fan of eggs myself.
When there are limits to what you can do with your creativity, it stops being fun. It starts being work. I don't have the time or energy to locate recipes that tick all the boxes of my family's likes, wants, and needs. I wish I was June Jetson and could enter the meal choices into a computer, only to have them promptly delivered by a robotic arm to my waiting family around the dinner table.
Ugh. Here they come again.
"Mom, did you decide what we are having for dinner?"
Looks like I am ordering one cheese free pizza, one cheese pizza, and pulling a steak out of the freezer.
There was a time when I did not think twice about what I ate. I bought packaged foods, and ate whatever I wanted. I felt no repercussions from indulging in Taco Bell, pizza, fries, and ice cream. I used mixes and cans of condensed soup to put together a meal, and truly felt pride in creating a "homemade" dinner. Although we grew a lot of our own food when I was a growing up, I did not think about the sources of the other food I ate.
When I was pregnant with my first child, it began to dawn on me that I had the tremendous responsibility of making sure I ate healthy because my choices no longer affected just me. Once I had my daughter, I decided to nurse because I knew that was best for her. I continue to be mindful of what I ate out of my concern and love for her. When she began to eat solid foods, it became apparent that she had a serious allergy to dairy and a life threatening allergy to peanuts. Because of this, I began to make more and more meals and baked goods from scratch as it was the only way to ensure that the food she ate was safe for her.
I have definitely fallen off the wagon on trying to eat clean using whole food ingredients now that it is only me I have to consider. I was a stay at home mom when my kids were younger, and now that I work, I find that I don't have the time or energy to make balanced meals, homemade bread, and homemade cookies for snacks and school lunches. I admit, I purchase fast food or pizza at least once a week. I have gotten in the habit of just scanning labels to make sure there are no peanut warnings, without checking to see if the item has nutritional value and free of additives, preservatives, and high fructose corn syrup. I have backslid into familiar habits.
Over the Christmas break, I watched the movie "Food, Inc." It affected me and made me think about where my food comes from and how so much of it is factory processed. It made me hate corporations like Monsanto and Smithfield who have turned farming corporate and made it nearly impossible for the family farms to survive. The message of the movie was that if you think this is wrong, you can vote by choosing to buy local and organic from family farms. I took this to heart.
I looked online and found a grocer specializing in local organic produce and meat from small independent farms. Even better, they deliver. So I ordered one whole chicken, kale, chard, parsley, organic whole grain bagels, sweet potatoes, a cabbage, and mushrooms. It was $77.00. The chicken alone, which came frozen by the way, was $30.00, five times what I would pay for a name brand chicken at the supermarket. If I had ordered hamburger, that would have been $8.99 per pound, double the cost of grocery store meat.
One of the scenes that stuck with me the most from "Food, Inc." was the story of a family who could not afford to buy fruit at the supermarket because that would be the equivalent of one snack, yet cost more than a meal from a dollar menu. Fast food and unhealthy food is subsidized which makes it cost less. It is more affordable to buy McDonalds than it is to buy whole foods from the store. I can afford the occasional $30 chicken, but it is not practical for me to spend that much on one component of a meal on a daily basis.
At our local farmer's markets, the prices are no better. I want to be able to support small businesses and independent farms, but when I purchased one heirloom variety tomato and a small watermelon that was the size of a large grapefruit at a stand last summer, my price was over $8. At many of the stands, produce is two to three times the cost of the same items at the grocery store. I understand that the farmers need to make money, but these costs are prohibitive for many people.
I do not know what the answer is, nor do I think one person or even a large group of people can make a difference. The large corporations are too powerful and their lobbyists are too adept at influencing our lawmakers. I will try to make healthier choices for me and my family, but the ease of packaged foods and the lure of fast food can be hard to ignore. Kermit was right, it's not easy being green.
