In my last entry, I lamented my lack of friends since moving to Texas nearly ten years ago. I own up to the lion's share of the blame for this. I believe that if you think everyone around is the problem, then chances are, the problem is you. So when I failed to make connections with people here, I was convinced that the problem could not be everyone else; it had to be me. It could not be anyone else's fault but my own.
About two weeks ago, something changed my perspective. I attended a wedding where I only knew about five people, and therefore found myself sitting next to a stranger. We began to engage in the the kind of small talk that people make at such events which later evolved into how we knew the bride. Before long, we were finding common interests and making jokes. It was a lovely evening, made even more so by the lively and engaging conversation.
On the ride home, I began to reflect on the night, and a sense of relief washed over me. For so long, I had thought that I was solely to blame for my inability to make connections with the people I have encountered here in my new home. I was convinced that it was true. The serendipitous seating chart gave me hope that while I may have faults and limitations when it comes to making friends, I am not a lost cause.
As we drove home, I confided all of this to my husband. There are times when he surprises me with an astute observation, and this was one of those nights. He said rather matter of factly, "Well, it's not surprising really. Historically, everyone you have ever connected with has had a story." He went on to explain that while everyone has a story, the people I am drawn to are the ones who have had if not unusual life experiences, then they have had at least really interesting ones.
My table mate at the wedding was quick to share her story with me. She had a compelling life story that was punctuated with warmth, laughter, and poignancy. She asked me about myself, and seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say. I felt as if she and I could potentially become friends if the distance were not a factor.
Our interaction lasted for only about four short hours, but it gave me hope that somewhere out there, my tribe awaits.
